British Empire unaware of the existence of periods

As seen here, British announcers have a tendency to use run-on sentences in a way so that a regular sentence is as likely as the result of today's semifinal match in the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup in South Africa (a warmup tournament for the 2010 FIFA World Cup; also in South Africa) where in a gutsy performance by keeper Tim Howard, and on the backs of goals from Villareal benchwarmer Jozy Altidore and Fulham FC role player Clint Dempsey, coupled with incredibly solid games from the US backline of Oguchi Onyewu, Carlos Bocanegra, Wisconsin's own Jay DeMerit, and Chicago's own Jonathan Spector, the United States of America upset Spain; the European Champions and the #1 team in the world, who were owners of a world-record 15-game winning streak, and a tied-world-record 35-game unbeaten streak (having last lost in 2006) by a scoreline of 2-0 to reach their first ever Final in a FIFA competition in a game that has already been dubbed "The Miracle on Turf" and "The Shock Heard Round the World," a reference not only to the 1775 Battle of Lexington, which signaled the beginning of the American Revolutionary War, but also to a 1989 FIFA World Cup Qualifier where the United States faced off against Trinidad and Tobago in Port-of-Spain, Trinidad, where Paul Caligiuri scored to lead the US to a 1-0 win, clinching qualification for the 1990 World Cup in Italy, the Yanks' first appearance at soccer's showcase event since 1950.

Next sentence.

EDIT: According to Yanks Abroad, the South African crowd chanted "USA! USA!" in the closing minutes of the game. I can only assume this means that the US and the rest of the world are cool again.

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As Long As You've got that map out...

Steve Davis on the near-certainty for the United States to host either the 2018 or 2022 FIFA World Cups, and assessing the viability of the other bids.

Davis thinks it is a slam dunk that England will host the 2018 World Cup, but then says of dark horse Qatar's bid...

"Qatar: The oil-rich Arab emirate has the world's highest GDP per capita, according to some estimates. Although money isn't an issue, physical size could be. Qatar occupies only about 4,400 square miles, roughly the size of Pennsylvania."

So if physical size is a major obstacle to hosting a World Cup, then we wouldn't want to have it in a country like...England, which is roughly the size of North Carolina, and only slightly larger than Pennsylvania.

If anything is going to kill the Qatari bid, it will be the average triple-digit temperatures that are routine in the Persian Gulf in June and July, when the World Cup is held.

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Smoldering Beck-age; a legitimate analysis

As in "wreckage."

It's been some amount of time since David Beckham's 2007 MLS season drew to a close. Now that the dust has settled and the doomsday predictions and knee-jerk reactions have fallen by the wayside, it seems only fair that since I did a preview piece to the start of the Beckham era, it seems only fair that I do some sort of wrap-up piece to the first season of "Beckhamania."

The first thing I want to say is, I saw this coming. The other writers on this blog know me well enough to know that I'm kind of a dick when I think I'm right, and I'm an even bigger dick when I'm validated. Sure, I foresaw the inability of Becks to meet the Bristol Hype Machine. That was easy to call, you say? Well, that post enables me to hide in a little less shame from my MLS season preview, where I very incorrectly predicted the Galaxy would win the MLS Cup. (Los Angeles is presently 4-11-5, a mark good enough for last place. They're not eliminated from the playoffs yet, but it's not too big a stretch to imagine the postseason without Becks, Landon, Cobi & Company.)


So what happened? Who screwed up? In a nutshell, everything happened, and everyone screwed up, and in the end, just about everyone suffered.

MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER
The first place to lay blame is at the swanky new office on 5th Avenue in New York City, home of the MLS League offices, and Commissioner Don Garber. In a move to be all things to all owners, MLS arranged a schedule that was backloaded with games for the Galaxy (They still have two matches in hand on every other team in the league). Basically, the league office knew there would be a demand for Becks, both in LA (To justify increases in season ticket prices for a team that missed the playoffs last year) and around the league (to justify bundling lackluster midweek contests into "Beckham Packs" to milk the demand.

The David Beckham Roadshow started shortly after he arrived.

It started with Becks being trotted out like a dalmatian at a dog show for the ESPN cameras back in July, a game where he made a token appearance in a meaningless friendly against Chelsea. Despite the irrelevance of the game, he sustained a hard tackle from a Blues defender that most certainly aggravated his ankle injury, which from medical reports, was seemingly held together with cobwebs and prayers. This set his recovery back, forcing LA's #23 to miss games in Dallas, Toronto, Colorado, New England, and two in Los Angeles. The League bet high on 23 White, and needed to recoup.

THE LOS ANGELES GALAXY (GM Alexi Lalas, Head Coach Frank Yallop)
When all was said and done, David Beckham made appearances in three MLS games (@New York, @DC United, Chivas USA, and two SuperLiga games (DC United, Pachuca). In those games, he made a valiant effort to rescue an LA team with a troubled midfield and a decimated back line. But it was not enough. Aside from a SuperLiga Semifinal victory over DC United, the Galaxy won only one game with Beckham on the roster (0-5-1 in MLS, 3-2 in SuperLiga). Pundits will point to this as a failure on Beckham's part to "elevate" the play of the Galaxy.

Sadly, Beckham actually did raise the Galaxy's level of play. The Galaxy's record is more a testiment to the same flawed premise that built Beckham's Real Madrid teams in the early part of the decade. "Sign a bunch of stars, throw them together in the same color shirt and hope they win games." Signing internationals and retaining veterans chewed up LA's already limited salary cap space. The resulting lack of cash left the Galaxy unable to sign or retain players in stop-gap positions, like the midfield and on the back line. Goalkeeper Joe Cannon was the best keeper in the league last year. He pitched a shutout against Chelsea's first team in the All-Star game, yet routinely gave up crooked number scorelines every night thanks to defensive pairings that were routinely overmatched. That falls to the GM, Alexi Lalas, and I would not be surprised to see him packing his bags in the offseason after failing to put together a playoff team for the past two seasons.

Coach Frank Yallop played the hand he was dealt. He had a lousy team with no depth, a bunch of washed-up money-pits (Cobi Jones, Abel Xavier, etc.), and as a result was forced to play Beckham more than he probably would have had the Galaxy not been bleeding goals, not producing anything on the offensive end and desperate for points in a crowded MLS Cup Playoff race. While he's not entirely to blame, he contributed to Becks' demise in his own way.

STEVE McCLAREN (English National Team Coach)

Beckham's play in the August game against DC United I largely attribute to the fact that England coach Steve McClaren was in the boxes that night at RFK Stadium. Beckham had been under pressure to perform in England's European Championship campaign, which had fallen on hard times (perhaps ironically after new England coach McClaren dropped Beckham from his England squad last fall.) With Beckham wanting to break back into the English squad, and McClaren needing European victories to save his own ass (or arse?), Beckham was forced to accelerate his "recovery" to meet the English FA's needs. And it's not just Beckham who's been forced to play through sidelining injuries. Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard played for England in their recent 3-0 win over Israel despite a broken toe. I don't want to hear one more person say that soccer players are pansies.

DAVID BECKHAM

Beckham himself is to blame, largely for neglecting his own health and fitness. Beckham was trying to be all things to all people, which is admirable, but here it was just not plausible. He wanted to be the celebrity everyone knew he would be, the leader everyone thought he could be, the ambassador-for-the-sport he thought he could be, and the England leader he hoped his coach would want him to be. Beckham's last act of hubris and perhaps utter neglect for his fitness was playing 90 minutes on the Giants Stadium field turf on Saturday, flying to London on Sunday (arriving Monday), playing 90 minutes in an intense international friendly against Germany on Wednesday, flying back to Los Angeles (only an 8-hour time change) to play in the LA Derby that Thursday night. A few days later, Beckham was on the bench, ice around his knee and his face in his hands, perhaps contemplating what might have been if he hadn't written checks to Steve McClaren and his body couldn't cash. From the Galaxy (July-August '07), to Real Madrid's Spanish season (July '06 to May '07) to England's World Cup bid (May-July '06) to Madrid's prior season (July '05 to May '06), Beckham never really got any time off to heal from the nicks and dings that players accumulate over time.

ESPN

Not just the Bristol-types, but the entire national sports media, who expected Beckham to be the "savior of American soccer," totally neglecting that MLS as a whole does not need saving (average attendance up, median attendance up, % of games under 10,000 fans WAY down, % of games with more than 20,000 fans WAY up) as well as failing to research basic aspects of the sport [On PTI, they were apparently unaware that you can play for a national team (England) and a club team (LA).], and forgetting the fact that the man is not a machine. If Kobe got hurt, it would be "Kobe's out 6-8 weeks," not "Why isn't Kobe playing? The fans bought tickets to see Kobe." Of Beckham's appearances, let's look at the television situation. Bold = Becks plays.

Chelsea FC (ESPN2)

Superliga: Pachuca (Telefutura)

Superliga: CD Guadalajara (Telefutura)

Superliga: @ FC Dallas (Telefutura)

@ Toronto FC (ESPN2)

@ DC United (ESPN2)

@ New England Revolution (No ESPN)

Superliga: DC United (Telefutura)

@ RB New York (Fox Soccer Channel)

Chivas USA (ESPN2)

@ Colorado Rapids (No ESPN)

Superliga: Pachuca (No ESPN)

As you can see, in the 6 games Beckham appeared in, 4 were positioned on a national English-language soccer broadcast. Only two of the games in the Beckham era did not appear on some form of national TV. To say that media pressure didn't play a factor I think is naive, especially for a league looking to muscle its way into the American mainstream, and a network looking for a return on its investment. (ESPN, FSC, and Telefutura all paid rights to MLS for the first time this year).

While the Beckham experiment met a premature end, the international profile of MLS has been significantly raised, allowing a crop of electric players to enter the league. Cuauhtemoc Blanco, Guillermo Barros Schelotto, Luciano Emilio, Juan Toja, Carlos Pavon, Juan Pablo Angel, Denilson, and many other new international players may not be here were it not for the Beckham experiment. Next season, after some rest and relaxation (and a thrilling Becks-less finish to the 2007 season), we'll get to see what a healthy Beckham can do in a maturing league.

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For England, James?

This has been a bit of a long and crazy story so I'll just give you the bare bones and the latest weird turn it has taken.

Last month, EPL side Sheffield United were relegated from the Premiership after posting a miserable 10-20-8 record this past season. However, United have appealed the result, claiming that West Ham (who finished just above them in the standings) should have been docked 10 points for illegally signing Argentinian international Carlos Tevez (and subsequently that West Ham should be demoted instead). Tevez subsequently led a late-season charge for the Hammers that will see them stay up in the lucrative Premiership next season. Even after the Florida 2000-esque legal suit that will see the 2006-07 season decided in the courts, the case has just gotten weirder.

Sheffield United may have a shot to avoid the drop, and to press their case, they have rather bizarrely called in Sheffield resident and United fan Sean Bean, perhaps better known as Alec Trevelyan from "GoldenEye."

I suppose the thinking is if the man could escape from an exploding chemical weapons plant, and survive a several-hundred-foot drop from a satellite dish, he might be able to help the Blades avoid the drop just as miraculousy. If only they could justify calling in Famke Janssen as well.

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England: The Kentucky Basketball of International Soccer

It's long been accepted that coaching a team carries with it the responsibilities of leading the team to victory. If the team doesn't win, a change of leadership must be required, and axeing the coach will make all the problems disappear. When the new coach wins his first game, there is jubilation and the glory days are back again. It happens over and over again like dictators succeeding each other in coups.

Such is the case with England. A 4-0 thrashing of Greece last fall convinced many that new boss Steve McClaren was the man for the job, and his dismissal of former captain David Beckham appeared a stroke of genius. The griping and grumbling of English fans over old coach Sven-Goran Eriksson, who skippered England to another disappointing World Cup (ONLY the Quarterfinals) was gone. We'll just ignore that England has only been past the quarterfinals once since 1966, a fourth-place finish at World Cup Italia '90.

Now it is the exact opposite. McClaren's head is being called for and the supporters who once spurned Beckham as a pretty boy starlet with more hair product than on-field talent are clamoring for his return, a move which McClaren seems unlikely to make any time soon, should he still have his job come next week. Fans and columnists are actually citing Beckham's absence and as such absence of leadership as the main reason why England are "underachieving."

It's time for a reality check. First, England are in third place in their 2008 European Championship qualifying group where the top two qualify, only 3 points behind second-place Russia. They have seven matches remaining (3 points for win, 1 for tie), including two against Russia, and one against Group E leaders Croatia (5 points ahead). The Three Lions are by no means out, or even in serious trouble, especially when one considers that four of their final five matches will be in front of thousands of St. George Crosses at the newly renovated Wembley Stadium.

Their scoring drought (1 goal in four matches, where England have gone 1-1-2) is something to be concerned about, but one must keep in mind that three of those matches were on the road, and the goal in any international tournament is to win at home and tie on the road. The teams they have failed to score against for the most part are European also-rans whose only motivation seems to be to avoid being blown out, hence a tightly-packed defensive scheme that results in ugly football. The only loss they suffered was at Croatia, to the group leaders.

But let's even say that England were shite this year, and WERE in serious danger of not qualifying for the EURO. What is being totally overlooked in this situation is that the only place where coaching really matters in top-flight soccer is in terms of setting the formation, and personnel management, which largely depends on setting the formation. Basically, on the world stage, coaching is largely irrelevant. The players have been coached all they can. They know their job and what they need to do.

England has more than enough talent to play, so the loss of Beckham is not an issue either. Nearly every player on the England roster plies their trade in the English Premiership; largely considered to be the best professional league in the world. Beckham's loss of leadership should likewise not be an issue because on England's current roster, six players are currently serving as captain, or vice-captain of their Premiership club.

So what's to cause for England's recent troubles? The fans. Not in the sense that the fans are not supporting England, but the fans are unrealistic. It's the same reason why if you don't win National titles every year at Notre Dame or Kentucky you get run out of town on a rail. Sometimes in international football, the breaks don't go your way. Especially when your qualifying schedule for one of the most prestigious competitions in the world is heavily front-loaded with road games. English fans seem to expect to win every game 5-0, and to win trophies constantly simply because the sport was invented in England. The fact is, England is a very good team. Possibly not an elite team, but there are many other sides who would LOVE to be blessed with the kind of talent and training infrastructure that England possesses. It's almost as if England fans haven't realized that they haven't won a World Cup since the 1966 final at Wembley Stadium. They're not supposed to dominate. They're supposed to win at home and tie on the road, and for the most part, they've managed to do just that.

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