Life immitates art immitates my crappy jokes

I wonder how similar this will turn out compared to this.

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So disappointing

The Pirates make a trade. The trade upsets the players. The players lash out at management. 79 articles are written about the trade. And not a single one has "mutiny" in the headline. How does this happen???

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Someone's lying

I plucked this screenshot (the only thing my lazy ass posts anymore, in case you hadn't noticed) from a totally interesting espn.com story on sports' most conversation-provoking franchise, the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Evidently, the SmarterThanPros.com test--like me--has an anti-Scottish bias, or Nate McLouth made the mistake of taking that test in the Dream Cafe. Either way, I'm totally smarter than Nate McLouth.

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Coming to theaters everywhere March 2012...

V/O: From the people who brought you The Gameplan...

[shot of a young Indian man throwing javelin]

V/O: ...comes the story of two teenagers out to make a fortune...

Dinesh [reading a newspaper ad]: "...one million dollars..."

V/O: ...brought together by a contest...

TV Announcer: We welcome you to the final round of Million Dollar Arm...

[alternating shots of Dinesh and Rinku throwing baseballs and a radar gun lighting up]

V/O: ...that would take them on an improbable journey all the way to the major leagues.

MLB Scout: Boys... How would you like to come to America and pitch for the Pittsburgh Pirates?

[Rinku and Dinesh turn to each other stunned]

***

Dinesh's mother: Oh, son. We'll miss you so much!

Dinesh's father: You'll make us proud, son!

Dinesh [climbing into a cab]: I won't let you down!

***

Dinesh: What is this?

American baseball farmhand: Wait... You don't know what a baseball glove is?

[cut to Dinesh trying to catch a soft toss and getting hit in the stomach and doubling over]

Dinesh [catching breath]: I'm okay!

***

Minor league manager: Where the heck did we get these guys?

[cut to Rinku flailing awkwardly in a batting practice cage and Dinesh bouncing a very wild pitch]

Assistant coach played by George Wendt: This isn't cricket, son!

***

Announcer played by Eugene Levy: That's another walk for Patel, and it looks like he's headed for an early shower [covering mic] ...back in India I hope.

***

[shot of Rinku spinning around to watch a homerun fly out of the park]

Announcer: Another gopher ball, and the Hillcats trail 6-2.

***

V/O: But hard times would test their will and form a bond that would last a lifetime.

[sad music]

Rinku: Dinesh--We can't give up now after we've gone this far. What about your mother and father?

Dinesh: You're right. We're both going to make it... Together.

[Dinesh and Rinku fist-pound and clasp hands]

***

Hey now
You're an all-star
Get you're game on
Go, play...

Announcer: Another strikeout for Singh! And that's ten on the afternoon!... [] ... Swing and a miss, strike three! Patel put some curry on that one!

All that glimmers is gold...

[collage of Dinesh pumping his fist, Rinku clicking his heels on a sprint off the mound, the bumping chests in the dugout, clubbing with teammates and beutiful women, carousing on the team bus]

Karl Ravech: Welcome back to Baseball Tonight. We have late breaking news that the Pirates have called up top pitching prospects Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel...

***

PA announcer: Now entering... for the Pirates... number 68... Dinesh... Patel... [shot of packed PNC Park crowd screaming and waving Indian flags]

***

V/O: They started out as two teenagers from tiny Indian villages and ended up an international sensation.

[shot of a crowd of Indian people around a tiny rabbit-ears TV watching a Pirates game]

Old Indian woman stereotype wearing a Pirates hat: Go Pitts-burgh Pi-rates!

[collage of Dinesh and Rinku on a billboard, disembarking a plane to a crowd of screaming Indian people waving Indian flags and Pirates banners, posing with Bud Selig, cutting tape for the Singh-Patel Indian Baseball Academy, appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, getting mobbed by autograph seekers]

V/O: From Walt Disney Pictures... It's the true story of Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, the first Indian-born players in American professional sports... Kal Penn stars in... Indian Summer.

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