Trail Blazers ping pong balls win NBA Draft lottery

In what many people deem the most important NBA Draft lottery in history, the Portland Trail Blazers were the big winner, getting the #1 overall pick when Trail Blazers ping pong ball #17 emerged from the scramble.

"While several other teams' ping pong balls put up a fight, it was clear that the slew of Blazers ping pong balls simply wanted it more," said NBA Deputy Commissioner Glassesface Nerdguy. "Their chemistry was unmatched."

While Blazers ball #17 will be best remembered as the ball that broke through, it was the unsung contribution of Blazers ball #40, selflessly throwing itself in front of a late charge by Grizzlies ball #181, that sealed the victory. Without ball #40's sacrifice, ball #17 would not have been first through the chute.

Though considered a long shot coming into the draw, the Blazers ping pong balls used the experts' doubt as motivation.

"We heard all them cats naysaying and putting us down, but that don't mean [anything]," Blazers ball #22 said afterward. "People can say this and that about who's got the better odds and all that, but we don't listen to that [stuff]. Ain't nobody besides us knew what we were capable of, and the naysayers just found out. Ye-ah."

The Trail Blazers are expected to take Ohio St. center Greg Oden with the pick.

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Make your pick: Oden or Durant

The NFL season is over. Opening day is still 50 days away. The NBA is not in the playoffs yet, and therefore is not all that interesting.

We need something to discuss (you know, beside gay athletes and new head coaches...yawn). So I'm writing this post in hopes of getting some debate on one of the hottest current topics in sports.

It's like asking "Wade or LeBron?" Either way, you're going to be fine, but the debate is there. Through Wednesday, here are the college standouts' stats:
Oden - 15.4 pts, 9.5 boards, 3.7 blocks, 62% shooting
Durant - 25.4 pts, 11.6 boards, 1.9 blocks, 49% shooting

I'm going to make my case for Oden, but I'm not completely sold so if you think Durant is a better prospect, convince me. Just remember, Sir Charles is on my side. I'm not going to make a ten-point argument or even a five-point argument. I really only have two points to make, so here they are.

One: Oden is playing with one hand...one fucking hand. Now, losing your dominant hand in basketball is not going to have the same effect of, say, making Albert Pujols bat left-handed. And it's not like his right hand is tied behind his back. But how many players could put up respectable numbers with a cast on their dominant hand? (and Oden's numbers are much better than "respectable") Oden's most impressive stat might be his 60% free throw shooting. Even with his left-handed toss, he's shooting better than most dominant big men like Shaq or Ewing. Just remember, we haven't even seen Oden at 100% yet.

Two: There are a lot of NBA players from the past decade that were better basketball players than Shaq, but only Jordan was more dominant. As Barkley said this afternoon on PTI, players with Durants skills are available every couple years, if not every year. Great big men are rare, and when you get one that can dominate the way Oden can, it can change the entire game. Having a giant in the paint forces teams to take more jump shots, and NBA players don't like to take jump shots. Look at the difference Shaq makes in Miami, or Ben Wallace makes in Chicago (or the effect on Detroit of losing Big Ben). I wouldn't say that players like Durant are a dime a dozen, but there are a lot more Kevin Durants out there than Greg Odens.

Ok, time for you to sound off...

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