Boys, We Could Have All Been D-1 Athletes

I think Sever mentioned this a while back, but it bears mentioning again since A: nobody listens to what Sever says and B: I just saw a commercial for it on Fox Sports Net during the Brewers game.

Apparently, there is now such a thing as the "National Collegiate Bass Fishing Championship." Ladies and gentlemen, I officially welcome you to the first high-level college sport where the most important aspect of participants isn't speed, athleticism, height or coordination but willingness to participate. Seriously, that's gotta be like one of at most 4 things you have to do to be in this thing. The other three probably involve filling out the necessary paperwork in triplicate.

Also, isn't fishin' a 'sport' that relies almost entirely on luck? I know there are a few things that you can do in order increase your chances of success, but would there really be anything separating your average Joe College from the competitors in this thing other than, again, willingness to be called Collegiate Bass Fishermen? I mean, isn't the only thing preventing me from being called a world class angler the fact that I think fishing is boring as fuck?

Regardless of my above confusion, I'm on board with this thing wholeheartedly and will gladly donate money to Marquette if they decide to start a Bass Fishing team (ed. note: no I won't) provided they add one provision. Since this is college, they should let - nay, demand - the kids get shitfaced drunk during the whole thing as an homage to the true spirit of fishing/recreational boat drinking. Also, every boat carrying a competitor should be manned by a mysterious fishing guide from either the bayou or some other colorful backwoods locale. The swarthier, the better.