In other words, are you Miami Heat team physician Harlan Selesnick?

If not, then take a random guess at this one SportsNation:

Will Dwyane Wade play again this season?
Yes
No

Right now it's 70% "Yes" to 30% "No." Damn, Dwyane. You're fucked. Sorry, man.

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Sports.

"The speed is just phenawmenal."

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A Continuation of NCAA Tournament Harping

Having found a projected bracket at College RPI (love your work Jerry, but you're way off base here) that has Marquette as a 9 seed right now (ridiculously low, especially when he had us a 4 before ND game), here's a look at some teams he has ahead of us. The two criteria I'm using are record versus top 50 RPI teams(basically, that's who you'll be playing in the NCAA Tournament) and road-neutral record (NCAA Tournament games are not played on your home court).

The good guys would be 5-4 versus top 50 teams, and 7-4 away from home

4 Vanderbilt:
5-3 versus top 50
4-7 road/neutral record

5 Kentucky
3-8 versus top 50
6-7 road/neutral record

5 Virginia
6-5 versus top 50
3-7 road/neutral record

5 Michigan State
6-7 versus top 50
3-7 road/neutral record (which includes 1, count it 1 road win for the Spartans)

6 Texas
3-5 versus top 50
7-6 road/neutral record

6 Nevada (Maybe the one I'm strongest about)
0-1 versus top 50 (that's right, they've played one game against top 50 teams)
12-1 road/neutral record

6 Indiana
5-7 versus top 50
4-9 road/neutral record

7 Tennessee
6-6 versus top 50
5-9 road/neutral record

8 Louisville
2-6 versus top 50
6-4 road/neutral record

8 Notre Dame (Another real good joke)
5-3 versus top 50
4-6 road/neutral record (they're 18-0 at home, 4-6 away from Joyce Center)

Now, there are teams with similar profiles with Marquette like USC and Butler who I have rated a touch lower than Marquette when looking at other key factors like Strength of Schedule and Non-Conference wins. Still, it's hilarious to see so many inferior profiles rated ahead of Marquette just based on the knee-jerk reaction of Marquette losing four of their last five games.

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A Good Article From ESPN

Once in a blue moon, even a blind squirrel finds a nut. For our readers just starting to take a close look at college basketball and the NCAA Tournament, this article will be an excellent Cliff's Notes for you to help get ready for March Madness.

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Last Ten Games

With Selection Sunday quickly approaching, it is now time to talk about what I feel has become the most overrated criteria in evualating team's resumes: their performance in the last ten games. In my transition to becoming a full-fledged stat geek, something that takes a look at a random sample of games should not be taken so seriously.

To use an easy example, the good guys have been "sliding" because of four losses in their last five games. It just so happened that their conference schedule has been extremely heavily backloaded. Road losses to Georgetown, Notre Dame and even DePaul are far from embarassing. A two-point home loss from a miracle three-point shot at the buzzer to surging Louisville is not anything to be ashamed about. When taking a ridiculously close look at all the resumes, I've found 15 that trump Marquette right now and another 8-10 that are very comparable to ours. Yet, there is talk of us being a potential 8-9 seed because they have "struggled" down the stretch. If you had magically flipped this tough stretch with our 8 game winning streak (basically what Maryland would be doing now), all you would hear is how Marquette quickly rising up the bracket like the Terps would be doing.

The last ten games stat seems extremely subjective, especially when so many "hot" teams down the stretch suddenly have early exits in the NCAA Tournament. With most teams having a week or so off before their first NCAA Tournament, the momentum a "hot" team may have can quickly evaporate. A team's complete body of work should not be affected by their performance in the last few games.

Now, there are occasions when the last ten games can be taken seriously. If a team has a mid/late season injury or suspension to one of their key players, you can critically evaluate their performances without said player. An excellent example of this would be Georgia Tech, who lost their leading scorer Lewis Clinch in January. The Yellow Jackets only quality win away from home, against Memphis in the Maui Invitational in November, came with Clinch in the line-up. Oklahoma State has collapsed down the stretch after losing sixth man Obi Muonelo. The Cowboys lack of depth without him has caused the starting five to become heavily fatugued, and they have lost seven of their last ten games. Conversely, a team that missed a key player for a long stretch and gets them back at the end of the season should receive credit if their return leads to a stretch of improved play.

Still, unless an extenuating circumstance exists, the last ten games should be a statistic that only comes into play when two teams have virtually identical resumes. When you win a game should have no bearing on its importance, unless other factors like injuries come into play.

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Bob Bradley (like everyone) is smarter than Jamie Trecker

Several news outlets including the Joe Morgan to my Vinnie, Jamie Trecker at Fox Sports, apparently have some beef with Team USA's priorities.

With new USA coach Bob Bradley 2-0 and still with his interim tag attached, questions are abounding about this relatively unique upcoming summer in US Soccer. The Gold Cup, the regional championship of North America ends just a few days before Copa America, the regional championship tournament of South America, where the Yanks are invited guests along with Mexico.

There is a belief out there that the United States Soccer Federation is misguided in fielding two teams for the two tournaments (because clubs will be reluctant to release their players for so long), and that the US is wasting a chance to earn some serious respect in the international soccer community by sending its B team to Venezuela this summer to take on first round opponents Argentina, Paraguay, and Columbia, while its A team stays home to try and hoist the oversized Gold Cup at Soldier Field on June 23 (DAMN MY COUSIN FOR SCHEDULING HER WEDDING THAT SAME WEEKEND!!!!) The Americans are the favorites to win the 2007 Gold Cup and are also defending champions.

Isn't the point of being in Copa America to try and earn some respect by playing in front of an international crowd and get some experience in front of hostile crowds? Why not send the best team you can to Venezuela and try to win the tournament? Claim a scalp against Argentina, or maybe a second-round draw with Brazil? That would go a long way towards regaining the reputation the Stars and Stripes lost at the last World Cup.

True, but frankly, only to me and other people who visit soccer message boards. You can have all the respect in the world (cough, Spain, cough) and it still won't get you results at the World Cup.

Bob Bradley isn't stupid. He knows soccer is still a niche sport in the United States and that by and large, the success of the sport is hinged to the success of the National team, and the casual sports fan only tunes in once every four years in June for the World Cup Finals.

Bob Bradley's plan here is almost absurdly brilliant. Bring your A-team to the Gold Cup , win the North American championship, and earn yourself a place in the Confederations Cup, a tournament held the year before the World Cup in the same country, featuring the 6 continental confederation winners, the World Cup Champion, and the host nation. Send your B-team, full of young, untested prospects to Copa America and see if you can't claim a scalp or two while you're down there.

The team in their prime runs through a weak Gold Cup field (Guadeloupe? Cuba? Honduras? Canada?) and gets USA to the 2009 Confederations Cup, potentially getting matches with World Cup sides Italy, France, possibly Brazil again , and a hungry South Africa team in the same stadiums as will play host to the World Cup the next summer. By that time, the 2007 Gold Cup Champions will be too old to warrant serious consideration for the World Cup squad, but the 2007 Copa America team will be coming into their prime, having already experienced hostile crowds and high-pressure situations in Venezuela two years earlier. Even if let's say on the far outside fringe shot that the United States knocks off Brazil and Argentina to win Copa America, that still won't get them to the Confederations Cup in 2009 because as a North American team they can't represent South America in that tournament.

When the team arrives in South Africa the next summer, most of them will have already been there the year before, and that added familiarity can't possibly hurt on the world's biggest stage, the only international stage that Americans really pay attention to, and in a non-European World Cup, where history has shown that European teams traditionally underperform in, opening the door for US overachievement like in South Korea in 2002.

Bob Bradley's not stupid. He knows his job security depends on World Cup success, and he's aiming for it by serving youth in South America this July.

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Classless asshole spells name with two Gs, writes amazingly shitty column

Gregg (yes, two Gs) Doyle at CBS Sportsline has written perhaps one of the most enraging columns ever. Not because he took a shot at Marquette or the Fire or the Cubs or the Bears or Celtic or any other team that I root for. It was in fact the exact opposite.

The Wisconsin Badgers.

The team that I most love to see lose in any sport (especially in basketball) to any opponent (especially Marquette). Some of the high/low-lites of this column.

If the best team this 2007 season has to offer was at the Schottenstein Center on Sunday, college basketball needs to die and come back as something else.

May I suggest competitive hyperbole?

Perhaps rugby. Or hockey. Lacrosse? Anything but that la-schlock I saw Sunday.

Danny, can you tell us what a la-schlock is? It sounds yiddish.

Ohio State won 49-48 if it matters, which it does only in the Big Ten picture. The victory means the Buckeyes will win the conference title outright even if they lose their regular-season finale later this week at Michigan.

Yea, I'd say winning a conference title outright by winning a tough game against the #2 team in the country "matters." The loss could conceivably cost UW a #1 seed in the tournament.

But nationally? Ohio State cannot be the best team in America. Not the Ohio State team I saw Sunday.

Because the #1 team in the country never has an off day, or wins when they don't play their best. They play top-caliber basketball every single day of the year in every single game, practice, charity slam dunk contest, game of HORSE, PIG, and Jordan vs. Bird for Sega.

Wisconsin can't score enough points to beat a team fair and square -- I equate offensive prowess with fair play ... sue me

I'm sorry Wisconsin wasn't the Harlem Globetrotters to Ohio State's Washington Generals. Perhaps there's an NBA All-Star game somwhere you can watch where the first team to 140 points wins.

so the Badgers bogged down the athletically superior Buckeyes and kept this unwatchable game in the 40s, which was a shame considering the game was televised on CBS and not that rinky-dink, four-letter network that deserved a game like this more than my lovely company.

Looks like some little brownnoser is looking for a promotion. First rule of writing. YOUR knowledge of the issue doesn't matter. Just bash your opposition. It works for politicians.

Oden had 11 points. I watched the whole thing and thought he had six. Or four. Maybe I fell asleep for a few of his baskets.

Jesus, I can't wait to see this guy's column when The Masters rolls around next month. He's gonna be ready to stab someone. And finally, the piece de resistance...

Look, Ohio State has a very good team. The Buckeyes have depth and talent and a great coach in Thad Matta. They have the next David Robinson in Oden, the next Chris Paul in Michael Conley, and lots of solid complementary pieces. One of those pieces is Daequan Cook, whose scoring average has been cut nearly in half, from 15 ppg to 8.3 ppg, since the Buckeyes entered conference play. Cook has all the tools in the world, and he thinks he's headed to the NBA perhaps as soon as this summer, but he sums up this OSU team:
Tons of potential. Ought to be great. But something's missing.
I can't tell you what that missing ingredient is, but I have good company. Matta also can't figure it out, because if he knew what it was, he'd fix it.

Translation: I know more about college basketball than Thad Matta does. In fact, I know so much more about this team than the coach who scouted, recruited, drilled, and trained these players that if I were to tell you peons, you might not be able to handle it.

Wisconsin? The Badgers weren't good enough to win the national title -- period -- and that was before cryin' Brian Butch left Sunday's game with an elbow injury that might end his third consecutive disappointment of a season.

I really hope Brian Butch reads this in the hospital, gets so pissed off that he flies to wherever Gregg with two Gs Doyle lives, dislocates his elbow while he's working, and sees how much of a cryer he is, then piles on it by calling him a disappointing columnist. That would only be sweet, poetic, ironic justice.

The Badgers can make do without Butch's soft play and yucky body.

Wait, "yucky"?

What Wisconsin can't overcome is its offensive liabilities at three positions on the floor. Centers Jason Chappell and Greg Stiemsma can't score. Small forward Joe Krabbenhoft doesn't want to score. Point guard Michael Flowers doesn't shoot well enough to score. The Badgers are Kammron Taylor, Alando Tucker and Bo Ryan's quicksand.

So in other words, one of the best players in the conference, a solid supporting cast, a coach who understands what his players are capable of and a great defensive strategy?

Best team in the country? Not Ohio State. Oden is too passive

So much for the second coming of David Robinson. That was nice for the few paragraphs it lasted.

Not Florida, strange as that is. The Gators returned everyone who mattered from last season's national championship team, but they've lost to NCAA bubble team Vanderbilt and to NIT bubble team LSU in the past eight days.

What? You mean winning the NCAA tournament doesn't have everything to do with personnel? That it might include getting hot over a three week period in March? Remember. Florida lost three straight at this time last year.

So if you're asking me to name the best team in the country, I can only tell you this: The best team in America wasn't in town on Sunday.
Unless Kansas happened to be stuck at the Columbus airport

Kansas may very well be the best team in the country, but even they have had their off days [Losses to Texas Tech (18-11), DePaul (17-12), and Oral Roberts (20-10)]

Just because you lose, even to a bad team, doesn't make you unworthy of winning the National Championship. And likewise, the best team in the country isn't always going to play like the '96 Bulls (who lost to the 35-47 Denver Nuggets once in '95-'96, remember?)

The jist of this column

1.) Gregg with two Gs Doyle is a classless asshole for making fun of a man who dislocated his elbow in what looked like a very painful injury. The caption of the picture read "The action on the floor's so bad it's enough to make a man named Butch come to tears. "

2.) Gregg with two Gs Doyle probably has ADD if he keeps falling asleep during a low-scoring but from what parts of the game I saw, looked to be a very interesting game.

3.) Gregg with two Gs Doyle thinks that if the #1 team in the country doesn't beat every team they play by at least 30 points, they're too soft to win the national championship. Likewise if the action isn't full of flair and panache.

4.) Gregg with two Gs Doyle thinks that if an opponents' game plan works at all against a good team, limiting their effectiveness, and the good team still wins despite the effectiveness of the strategy, then nobody deserved to win the game. Basically, if the outcome of the game could be known in the first two minutes, that would be nice. That would solve his ADD, would be enough so Wisconsin could give up, and Ohio State could concentrate on firing off alley-oop dunks from halfcourt while fireworks go off and Jackie Chan roundhouse kicks a ball into the hoop off a motorcycle.

5.) Gregg with two Gs Doyle thinks that Florida's losses to Vanderbilt and LSU disqualify them for the national championship, but would probably fall all over himself to fellate Kansas, who lost to DePaul and Oral Roberts.

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Projected Bracket as of 2-23

Well, after about two hours of research(or, 1 hour and 59 minutes more than what Joe Lunardi does), I have pumped out my latest projected bracket. The good guys have dropped a rung since last time, down to a 4 seed. However, with 3-4 straight wins, they can jump right back onto the 3 line.

Our readers who don't like the ACC may be gravely disappointed on Selection Sunday. They look to be in excellent shape for 6-7 bids, with plenty of high seeds. What separates them from other conferences is that their middle of the pack teams, Duke and Maryland, did so well out of conference. That allows them to be higher seeds than your typical 7-6 conference team.

The Big East suddenly looks strong for 6-7 teams. Villanova and West Virginia still have work to do, but I greatly prefer them to other bubble teams like Illinois, Drexel, Georgia, Clemson and Ole Miss.

Anyway, here's the bracket:

West Regional-San Jose:
Sacramento
1. UCLA vs. 16. Weber State
8. BYU vs. 9. Notre Dame

Spokane
4. Virginia Tech vs. 13. Santa Clara
5. UNLV vs. 12. Creighton

Winston Salem
3. Duke vs. 14. Toledo
6. Vanderbilt vs. 11. Texas Tech

Buffalo
2. Pittsburgh vs. 15. South Alabama
7. Arizona vs. 10. Winthrop

East Regional-East Rutherford:
Winston Salem
1. North Carolina vs. 16. Delaware State
8. Indiana vs. 9. Tennessee

Columbus
4. Marquette vs. 13. Oral Roberts
5. Nevada vs. 12. Kansas State

Lexington
3. Memphis vs. 14. Holy Cross
6. Butler vs. 11. West Virginia

Lexington
2. Ohio State vs. 15. Sam Houston State
7. Oregon vs. 10. Xavier

Midwest Regional-St. Louis
Chicago
1. Wisconsin vs. 16. Play-In Winner: Jackson State vs. Central Connecticut State
8. Texas vs. 9. Stanford

Sacramento
4. Maryland vs. 13. Davidson
5. Air Force vs. 12. Old Dominion

Buffalo
3. Georgetown vs. 14. Pennsylvania
6. Kentucky vs. 11. Missouri State

New Orleans
2. Texas A&M vs. 15. Austin Peay
7. USC vs. 10. Georgia Tech

South Regional-San Antonio:
New Orleans
1. Florida vs. 16. East Tennessee State
8. Michigan State vs. 9. Villanova

Spokane
4. Washington State vs. 13. Vermont
5. Virginia vs. 12. Virginia Commonwealth

Columbus
3. Southern Illinois vs. 14. Long Beach State
6. Boston College vs. 11. Purdue

Chicago
2. Kansas vs. 15. Marist
7. Louisville vs. 10. Alabama

Bid Breakdown:
7-ACC, Big East
6-Pac 10
5-Big 10, SEC, Big 12
3-Mountain West, Missouri Valley
2-Colonial

Last Four Teams In: Missouri State, Creighton, Kansas State, Old Dominion

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Marquette-Notre Dame: This time, it's slightly less personal (because we've graduated) ...but personal nonetheless

While the Marquette-Notre Dame basketball rivalry may not grab the interest of the entire country, or even all of the teams' current players, this game always means a ton to us MU faithful--especially those of us from the Chicago area.

Like a lot of rivalries, MU-ND stems as much from academics and socioeconomics than from actual gameplay. Both schools offer Catholic-based educations and have historically held a storng presence in the midwest--particularly around Chicago. By reputation, Notre Dame is more provincial, prestegious, and acadmeically selective while Marquette is more welcoming to students of a less refined, lower achieving ilk.

From the Marquette perspective, Notre Dame is a blue-blooded, elitist club whose lofty standing far outpaces its true academic and social merit. From the Notre Dame perspective, Marquette is a harmless speck, a rung or two down the academic ladder, and its students are unruly drunks who harbor bitterness for their own failure to gain admittance to ND.

Of course, these are just extremes of the stereotypes, but they come out in full force each time the teams match up. Whether it's posterboard signs claiming a greater share of God's love or some bitchy, uptight lady scolding Nate, Mike and I for cheering too loudly at the Joyce Center, the MU-ND game always seems to reinforce these stereotypes.

To this day, Digger Phelps hates Marquette and is pretty bad at hiding it. If you'd watched him closely on ESPN last year, you'd have thought the Irish were the 10-6 team, and Marquette was the team struggling to make the Big East tourney.

The Marquette that Digger knew was the Marquette of Al McGuire, who--in their many matchups when both schools were independents--was constantly showing up the refs, showing up Digger's team, and showing up Digger. Also, Digger is a huge baby and hasn't gotten over a couple incidents when Marquette fans screamed profanities at him and his team.

This year, both teams are doing rather well, and both teams want a win pretty badly Saturday afternoon, so expect this year's atmosphere to be intense. If you have ESPN Full Court (the game is also on ABC), you may even catch a glimpse of YCS's Mike and Danny if you look hard enough (and if you know what they look like).

So if us MU grads on the YCS staff take a little extra pleasure in this game, should we win it, we just want you readers to know where we're coming from. We strive on this blog to be as objective and self-critical as we can be. But as a general rule, we really dislike Notre Dame and enjoy slandering their name.

You know, just so you understand where we're coming from.

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This post brought to you by insomnia

Things that might have come to mind when you first heard the name of Oaklahoma St. guard JamesOn Curry:

• A gay porno featuring New York Knicks big men Jerome James and Eddie Curry


• A really horrible one-on-one basketball video game featuring Jerome James and Eddie Curry, a la Atari's Jordan vs. Bird


• The horribly lopsided matchup of LeBron James guarding retired sharpshooter Del Curry


• Baseball stat guru Bill James discussing the win shares of turn-of-the-century St. Louis Browns pitcher George "Soldier Boy" Curry


• The song "Laid" played on Brookings, Oregon's 95.3 FM radio station KURY


• Ninteenth century author Henry James's scathing critique on the French scientists who discovered radium (only if you slightly misheard his last name)


• Young songwriter James Morrison in a special primetime interview with Katie Couric (only if you badly misheard his last name)


• Rock and roll legend Tommy James sharing recipies using his favoirte Indian spice

(Sorry...I know that was horrendously lame. It's not my fault. This post should've never happened. I can't sleep, so shut up. And go to hell.)

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