Op-ed: All sports fans are ignorant swine and ought to conduct themselves in a manner that better suits this scantly-read blogger

To revive an obnoxious soapbox of mine, here's a litte sitchy-ation that unfolded on my radio yesterday:

White Sox lead the Astros 6-1 with one out in the top of the 9th. Dewon Day is on the mound for the Sox; Mark Loretta is on first after a walk. Morgan Ensberg comes to the plate.

Pitch 1: Ball
[low grumble, festering rage]
Pitch 2: Ball
[grumbling and boos]
Pitch 3: Ball
[booooooo!]
Pitch 4: Strike
[wild, sarcastic cheer]
Pitch 5: Ball
[BOOOOOOO!!!]

Ozzie Guillen emerges from the dugout, calls for Boone Logan. Crowd roars. Mike Lamb to the plate.

Pitch 1: Ball
[BOOOOOOOOO!!!!]
Pitch 2: Ball
[BOOOOOOOOO!!!!]
Pitch 3: Ball
[BOOOOOOOOO!!!!]
Pitch 4: Ball
[lynch mob-style rage, BOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

Guillen emerges again, calls for Bobby Jenks. Crowd roars.

Jenks enters, throws a wild pitch to let in Loretta, then retires Brad Ausmus on a groundout and Luke Scott on a strikeout. Game over; Sox win 6-3.

So where am I going with this?

You know it. Booing.

Booing at athletes--Stupidity. Calousness. Hallmark of idiots and ingrates. Epitome of assholeish-ness. Embarassment to the human race.

I don't know how else to describe it. It's primitive and sad. We don't duel in the streets anymore. We don't do public stonings. We don't sacrifice virgins to volcanoes. And we shouldn't boo anymore either.

Somewhere between this:

And this:

...We created this idea that the pro athlete's sole obligations are toward the success of the organization into whose grasp he unwittingly landed and toward those who crave that success for reasons altogether arbitrary. And somehow, we all bought into this. I guess because it made us feel important.

But the truth is--now more than ever--that the athlete should never look out for anyone but himself. I say take every damn cent of that money, and don't feel bad about it. And don't feel bad about blowing off the guy pressuring you to sign his kid's damned baseball glove. Because that guy's not looking out for you. No one's looking out for you. The whole world's looking out for your ability to perform--but not two shakes for you.

So when 33,000 chumps rain hate on a 22 year-old kid with a fragile talent and zero financial security just vying for his chance to do something he might love for a living, and when they do it because of a team-wide trend that he had no part in creating, someone has to turn and ask, "What have you ever done that's so goddamned flawless?"

If you think I'm exaggerating, then realize this: Dewon Day entered that appearance with a forgiveable total of three walks in seven innings pitched. Logan entered his with only four in 18 IP. Individually, these two men had no part in the White Sox' recent bullpen base on balls problem. But they got their asses reamed for it anyway.

Fans are no longer fans. They don't love sports. They love their goods, and they see "their" team as their property. It's not love, or even enjoyment. It's jingoism. And the tragedy of professional team sports is that, somewhere along the way, we took it seriously--exalted it, even. We've indulged ourselves on it to the point that we're all just spoiled kids--so jacked up on sweets that we can't even recognize the things we profess to value.

But I guess I shouldn't come down so hard on current sports fans; I'm sure it's been around as long as team colors have. It's the resentment of seeing another man have something you once wanted but couldn't have... And on top of it, he's got the nerve not to use it in a way that satisfies me! How dare he! Boooo!!!

And that's what it drives us to. We see a 22 year-old kid trying to realize a gift and make a living doing something he might love to do, and we fucking boo him. We jeopardize his fleeting opportunity and his fragile talents for our trivial, arbitrary wants. We let him stand victim for things beyond his control--things at the mercy of our distorted perception and shit judgment. Think about that. Think about that for one goddamned minute, and it should make you cringe.

We don't ever get exactly what we want. Dewon Day and Boone Logan won't ever get exactly what they want. No athlete will. But they have an opportunity to have something very special. They have the opportunity to do something they love and showcase a talent.

If you can say the same for yourself, then you've got no reason to be so angry. If you can't, then I feel bad for you. I honestly do. You're probably miserable. But that's no excuse to drag someone else down with your sorry ass.