How totally uncharacteristic of the Chicago sports media

>> Friday

--overreacting to a 7 runs-in-3 games offensive "drought." And most shockingly, it came from the most rational of all media outlets, sports talk radio.

The culprits this time are Mike Mulligan and Brian Hanley, the guys in the 10am to noon slot on The Score 670 AM, who opened their show today by expressing concern that the Cubs offense had not yet "come together" (whatever that means) over the course of three early-season games played in a cold that pushed the threashold for normal human sensation. Oh, and then the one guy (Hanley, I believe) insinuated that Soriano is a large part of the problem because--and I paraphrase--Soriano is a great hitter, but he's bad to have in the leadoff spot.

Then some guy called in and said, in all seriousness, that by hearing Lou Pinella talk, "you can tell that guy's an alcoholic." That at least entertained me. That caller should be hosting the show.

I had to share that bit of absurdity, but from now on, I'm gonna hold myself to a policy of "no blogging on stupid shit said by people on sports talk radio." Otherwise, I may end up listening to Mike North and blogging continuously until the tendons in my hands turn to strands of linguine. Because, as I think we can all agree, sports talk radio is for comedic value only.

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This ain't ovah: A f***ing novel

>> Thursday

Almost two weeks ago now, Dan Shaughnessy wrote that little satire on Curt Schilling’s blog 38 Pitches in his Boston Globe column, and just about everyone with a computer has had something to say about it, including one who's turned Shaughnessy's dagger back toward him. At this point, piling on could only make matters worse.

But then again, read our blog description, and you'll know it makes sense.

I promise I'd intended to scrap this moster altogether until I saw this. I'd have dropped it if Shaughnessy had dropped it. But he didn't. So I won't. This proves to be an appropriate backdrop for this post, as you will see should you be so brave.

Quickly, before I get to my real point, I’d like to add my two bits to this huge-ass sack of quarters that is Shaughnessy's tiff with Schilling.

To preface: If I’ve ever read a Dan Shaughnessy column before now, it’s probably been once or twice, max. And I wouldn’t connect Shaughnessy to the work regardless. So as far as I know, he could be the toughest, most biting, interrogative columnist there is.

That said, the digs at Schilling’s fans--those lapdogs, sycophants, and suckups--are just a tad hypocritical coming from a print writer. Let’s think about this: What elevates athletes to idol status in the first place? Sure, a lot falls on the fan. But maybe there’s a group of people—say, like, members of a particular profession—who, as a primary function of its existence, exalt athletes through poetic portraits texturized by themes of heroism and godliness. Maybe there’s also a group—could be the same one, for that matter—who, also as a primary function its existence, facilitate this exaltation by feeding athletes soft, open-ended questions tailored to augment these godlike portraits. Oh but wait--there is such a profession. And I believe it's called sports journalism.

Maybe Shaughnessy’s part of the problem; maybe he’s part of the solution. Regardless, my implication of Shaughnessy in the sins of his pandering colleagues is no more flagrant than his blanket characterization of sports bloggers and commenters, is it not? And how accurate does he really believe that characterization is? Why do print journalists keep pretending that internet communication is still some cultish phenomenon perpetuated by an eclectic few?

Mostly, though, I’m baffled that he connects fan idolatry to Schilling’s blog, seemingly to imply that an athlete blog would only perpetuate this sentiment. Call me crazy, but I think it would do the opposite. After all, whose creation was "bloody sock" Schilling? The sports media--absolutely. And whose creation is "kinda-dopey video game lover who writes pretty averagely" Schilling? That would be Schilling himself, of course.

It’s been years since journalists could convince us on a whim that Athlete A is a villain and Athlete B is "one of the good guys" based on some spotty anecdotes and a specious set of values. In fact, the real heroes of younger sports fans are those athletes like Allen Iverson who overcome the villain label with which journalists so eagerly tried to brand them and ultimately challenge our concepts of conduct and charity. And it's the players like David Eckstein who are fawned over in the press as some contrived ideal of toughness and workmanship that become our running jokes. In a time more like our current one, what would we have seen in Joe DiMaggio? Something more complete and more humbling I'm sure.

This is to say we no longer have use for the abridged version of our athletes. We want straight-from-the-source, good with the bad. And wouldn't you know, we're finally getting it. Private life, public life--there's no such thing. Apologies to the Shaughnessys, but it'a permanent change and a pretty awesome one at that.

But moving on. I'd like to talk about bloggers and journalists.

The Fire Joe Morgan rebuttal to the Shaughnessy column was just the latest in a series. In recent months, they've rebuked a number of journalists who, without provocation, deride bloggers, blog readers, and progressive-minded sports fans on the whole. Bloggers, among other things, have been likened to homeless people (which, by the way, also needlessly offends the homeless, but that’s a preachy post for a different night and probably for a different blog). The contempt that mostly festered before is all blowed up.

The popular and sensible angle tells of a sports journalism establishment threatened by uncredentialed shmos who might scoop them or cut into readership. A few years back, ignoring bloggers was easy. The blogger was little more than the pestering voice in the back of a journalist's head trying to deconstruct all his temples. It was equally faceless and nearly as silent. The average Johnny Newsstand probably hadn't heard of a blog. And if he had, he used the proper term "weblog" and even then he put it in quotes. Now some of those same people trust the authority of blogs over the New York Times. Print journalists themselves seem to be the only ones left in the world who see blogs as the rinky dink toys of the wannabe Times columnist. Poor guys--if they would only realize how foolish they seem before reality hits them too hard. But we can't be asked to protect them.

Yet why the venom? It isn't about job security or career advancement. At least not entirely. I don’t think the Shaughnessys and Murray Chasses are so much interested in defending their territory as they are in defending their legacy. As the other pisser in this pissing match, we have too much to learn from their example to write them off as they've done us. Ultimately, we’re no less vulnerable to the same insecurity that's swallowing these established journalists. And we could reproduce this stagnancy and these petty digs if we aren’t careful.

I'm not suggesting that sports bloggers aren't self-critical. I'm suggesting the possibility that we aren't... enough... sometimes. The easy rebuke is also the most fun. The "old man, get off your horse" take is one favorited by this particular blog. And it's effective. So yeah, they are stubborn old men on high horses. But so what? We all know it. Doesn't repeating it play strength in numbers every bit as much as the Chasses play strength in legacy?

I’ve been reading sports blogs probably for less than a year--basically since Matt said, "This Skip Bayless article is horrible; let’s start a blog," about eleven months ago. And honestly, prior to a few months ago, I rarely expanded out beyond our own. It's been a raw and thoughtless process; I am no expert on this business. But it’s become apparent to me that there is an overall mantra, particular to sports blogs especially, that no level of credential, no size of reputation, no number of fans, no title, no honor, no name renders an author or piece any less susceptible to fair criticism. It's the blog in its most exaggerated form--the unfiltered medium through which all angles are visible, articulated, and judged solely for their content. It’s why anonymity (something we at YCS never learned, by the way) works so seamlessly. Our names are irrelevant in regard to the content in our work. Even if someone’s blog handle gets heavy with acclaim, that author—in the realm of public discourse—is shit outside of the work.

Fall back on your praises; prepare to be ignored. The free intellectual market doesn’t allow mental laziness; it doesn’t allow power structures. It sizes up the words for what they are at both the author’s great benefit and great cost. And that’s what has the established journalists wetting their beds at night.

Implied in this made-up sports blog mantra is a mandate to treat the words as a stand-alone creation, detached from the author’s stature and standing. That’s why Shaughnessy’s depiction of the 38 Pitches chatters as overweight, unemployed mama’s boys is benign to most of us. We truly don’t care whether someone is successful, attractive, or rich. We care that their words have substance and insight. If a writer is depraved misanthrope, that's not the reader's problem, until it comes through as sloppy reasoning or narrowness.

I'd imagine most of us agree that the anonymity is, in large part, a good thing. Sure, it strips away individual accountability--though, I would argue, strengthens mutual accountability--and discourages tact and courtesy. But more so, it does away with inequities of personal qualification. Inequities like our tendency to favor opinions of atractive people or tall people or wealthy people or shaggy-haired people who speak with a hazy sort of meandering drawl when they’re thinking hard, which makes them seem smarter in person. Oppositely, I think prominent writers like Chass or Shaughnessy or Simmons or Riley—take you pick—inevitably suffer from a kind of inverted bias. Haven't all of us at some point rejected an opinion simply because we felt obliged to value it on the basis of its author's rep? Or rejected an opinion simply out of distaste for the author? Absolutely.

Now imagine this. You’re Murray Chass. You’ve been covering baseball for thirty-plus years. You’ve had access to superstar athletes that most fans simply dream of meeting. You’ve won award upon award. And you write regularly for the most widely-read newspaper in the country. You are truly at the pinnacle of your profession. After all your toil and rejection through the years, you finally feel you’ve made it. That long-sought validation, attained.

Yet for all you are and all you’ve done, there are people out there—lots of people, people a third your age, people who’ve never had the access or the experiences you’ve gathered—who respect nothing of what you’ve accomplished or what you currently have to offer the public. That cuts deep. It tatters not only you belief in your own accomplishments but your belief in the idea of attainment itself.

So you don’t believe them. Their criticism can’t be a sign of your own inadequacy, but of theirs. They’re naïve and egocentric. They won’t talk so much once life humbles them like it has me. They won’t believe that stuff once they’ve seen the things I’ve seen. You need them to understand that you’re unimpressed. You stubbornly refuse to let their excesses have influence over your own style or your way of thinking. You don't see these excesses as a valid counter to your own but simply as excesses. You go static. There’s no use trying to win these people over because you never will. And after all, you’re thick with the praises of like-minded cohorts--cohorts who don't care about VORP either--who, in your mind, are starkly more rational than those who malign you.

So why reason with the naysayers? Put them in their place the easy way. Belittle them; mock their new way of thinking; mock VORP; aim for the pressure points, the adolescent scars. Call them nerds. Call them fat. Call them… homeless? If you can devalue their existence, then you’ve devalued their work. And they have no recourse--at least none that you have to answer to. So you win.

Now, perhaps, we could say, anyone who enters into such a visible, competitive, and fluid field should expect this treatment. Some might say that any working adult should put notions of praise and attainment out of mind when childhood ends. But few of us are that strong. Nearly all of us, in some respect, will always strive for that feeling of "making it." And when you’re an award-winning writer for the largest newspaper in the country, life grows insular; acclaim always surrounds you; and it just might go to your head a little.

But here’s where this theme gets uncomfortable, I guess. Aren’t we, in a sense, the exact same way? Yes, I realize that those of us fitting the sports blogger stereotype generally adopt more progressive mindset than fogeys like Chass. But are we really so different in how we treat dissention?

Examine:

"lives in his mom’s basement" ~ " writes on a tablet"
"wears XXXL-sized jersey" ~ "walks with a cane"
"nerdy" ~ "curmudgeony"
"hermit" ~ "racist"

Now’s where I get to hypocrisy. If you’re new to our blog, hypocrisy is the foundation of this blog. We’re full of shit; we’re full of ourselves; we’re full of our opinions. We like to think there’s some value and enjoyment sprinkled throughout our posts, but in all honesty, none of us give our work much scrutiny before we publish. Speaking for myself, I've never particularly worried whether my posts are internally consistent, or whether they jive with previous or future posts. This one, by the way, is no exception.

Basically, I have no apparent right to criticize anyone for sloppiness, egocentrism, or hackiness. It’s what I’m good at; it’s what I do. More so, I have absolutely no right to mount the pulpit to defend established journalists from the barbs of salty sports bloggers. Not only is the practice a staple of this site, but I get immense joy reading the similar work of other bloggers. By no means do I intend to stop reading these posts, nor do I want anyone to stop writing them.

Let me make one thing clear. I don’t for a second overlook the inherent high ground of the devoted blogger over the blowhard columnist. Anyone who truly expends himself to broaden perspective, gather information, and reserve judgment has earned the prerogative to pull the belt on a fatheaded hack flicking lazy platitudes. Which is not at all to say bloggers all fall in category A, and all print columnists in category B, but it fits the examples I’m pulling. I guess it’s just important that we recognize the parallels. Writers in the major print media, for the most part, got where they are by writing accessible material, not by pioneering ground-laying new modes of thought. We sort of just accept that. We’d like to think we can hold them accountable to sloppiness and poor judgment, but in large part, the tact isn’t conducive to a fair reception. Even if it were, no one likes reading opposing viewpoints, much less taking the criticism to heart.

Maybe that’s a problem; maybe it’s not, but it reminds me an awful lot of the often off-putting sentiment of the indie music press in years past. We ask others into our fold by telling them they’re ignorant assholes who value useless crap. It’s a self-imposed catch-22 or double-edged sword or something. Whatever, it’s a hollow invitation. To the outsider, we’d rather harbor our frustration and use it as inspiration. And we do. And it works. It works to amuse us; it works to keep us busy. It works on a number of levels, but it probably doesn't work to fulfill what we claim as its function. The tact won't allow it.

Maybe that's how we like it. I know I do. I could talk a big streak of nonsense about blogging as an outlet to change how people think and to explore a higher level of discourse. But I think we just say these things to help us sleep easier, knowing how much time we waste on this shit. Maybe that's all it amounts to--a way to amuse ourselves, a way to ingratiate each other, and a way to keep it all in the family. The alienating tone spawns more fodder, and it carries on from there. I can't say I mind this much, but it must bug me a little or I wouldn't be saying any of this. Then again, I'm not looking to unify the masses either.

In some respect, I think most of the content in sports blogs is at least a loose response to the work in print media. They use overwrought, flowery abstractions, we use tersely-delivered, quantifiable logic. They use pop culture and cornball analogies to draw laughs, so we use pop culture and cornball analogies ironically to draw laughs. They vilify athletes for run-ins with the law while our heroes are the antiheroes. But is this response too automatic? Do we care more about being right than telling the truth? And when the response to us comes along, will we recognize it?

Soon enough, this press-blogger distinction won't exist. The sheltered pedestal on the print columnist will be gone, and access to a reader base will be even more equitable than it already is. I just wonder as this progresses, whether we will cave to the shoddy human instinct that parcels us out into pockets of the like-minded or if some higher caliber of discourse will take hold in a form more inclusive and accessible than the one we have.

But really, who cares about higher discourse on sports anyway? After all, we have day jobs, and they have nothing to do with sports blogging. That's just something we do on our lunch breaks (and occasionally before or after, but don't tell the boss!). So why is any of this important? Well I guess it isn't, except that I wouldn't want us to end up being the Murray Chass of whatever it is we do. Because every field of work has them. And every worker goes down the same path. We will be no exception.

How, then, will we react when that time comes, when no matter how hard we try, we can't keep up with the logic of the twenty-somethings around us? And when our VORP comes along--whatever that may be--will we embrace that burden or turn our back and rationalize voluntary ignorance? Or will we even recognize it to begin with? Mostly, though, I wonder if we'll be strong enough to shrug off those triumphs and listen to that pestering voice as critically as we write these words today.

Speaking for myself, I'd like to think I will be, but I sort of doubt it. Either way, it's probably out of my control.

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Sigh of Relief, Job Well Done

As reported by Pat Forde of TWWL, it looks like Billy Gillispie will be the next head coach at Kentucky. If the deal gets wrapped up, it will be a tremendous hire by Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart. He's a tremendous X's and O's and excellent recruiter, bringing sought after recruits like Joseph Jones, Bryan Davis, Donald Sloan and DeAndre Jordan to Texas A&M. After taking over reeling programs at UTEP and Texas A&M, his teams have been in the NCAA Tournament three of the last four seasons, winning three games the last two seasons. Frankly, I think he was the X's and O's genius behind Bill Self, as it was after Gillispie's leaving Self's staff in 2003 that ole Slick Willy's game coaching was debated. After the way ESPN ragged on the program unfairly, I would root for Gillispie to get it done at Kentucky(I'm betting Pat and Vinnie never thought I'd be saying that). In a bold prediction, I think Gillispie's teams would outperform Florida and Billy Donovan once Gillispie got his guys in place.

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Extremely Tenuous Situation

With Billy Donovan turning down Kentucky, there is a chance they could come calling for Marquette's Tom Crean. Despite the sentiment against him among Kentucky's crazy fans, it would still be an excellent opportunity for him at one of the destination jobs in college basketball. In my mind, I would not fault Crean for attempting to rise to the tough challenge.

However, should this actually happen, Marquette would likely be in bad shape. Currently, we have no AD in place and it's likely one will not be hired in the very near future. Going through a coaching search with no AD in place could set our program back many years. Many potential coaches would be scared away from going to a school without knowing who their boss will be. Basically, anyone with half a brain should really hope Crean does not leave. The ramifications could be extremely severe and a spot with St. John's, Rutgers, Seton Hall and South Florida at the bottom of the Big East could be waiting for us.

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One of these posts where we just copy the free part of an Insider column

Come on, now. This is too much:

[Griffey] spoke with commissioner Bud Selig and asked to wear No. 42 on the 60th anniversary of Robinson's first game, and the commissioner embraced the concept, then expanded it. Now the rest of baseball is climbing aboard, too.

The entire Dodgers team will wear No. 42, as Steve Henson writes, and Barry Bonds will wear No. 42; LaTroy Hawkins proved he gets it by initially saying that he doesn't feel worthy to wear No. 42; hopefully, somebody convinces Hawkins that by virtue of his respect, he showed he is absolutely worthy.

Actually, I'm sorta with LaTroy on this one.

I think I'm obliged to preface this with "I'm no racist or nothin', but..." Haven't we all gone a little overboard with anniversaries and symbolic gestures? Where does it end? And why do these things always revolve around numbers? I thought people hated numbers.

This raises another, more important question: If a whole team can wear the same number in a game, why do we even have numbers in baseball? And how are they gonna track the fouls? (Wait... what sport is this again?) This whole thing has me a bit rattled. Whatever--as long as someone wears the number 09 on Benito Santiago's birthday, I'll be happy.

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The cliche, "It's a long season" really comes in handy at times like these.

So after Vinnie bitches and moans for four months about the Cubs paying primo dinero for two mediocre pitchers (one arguably being a scrape of the barrel), both Ted Lilly and Jason Marquis shut my haughty ass up by pitching really well in each of their first starts.

Then again, it's been like 15 below in Cincy all week, so let's wait and see how they fare once the hitters can feel their scrotums.

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I Honestly Don't Know Why Anyone would take the Kentucky Job

SI.com unintentionally details why no one should take the position in Lexington. My favorites are below. I'll let Zuch handle the recruiting stuff.

There goes Kentucky's Plan A.
Three-time National Champion head coach of your basketball rival, including the last two national titles. Yikes. There's nowhere to go but down from here.

Billy Donovan's decision to remain at Florida rather than take the vacant head coaching job at Kentucky leaves the field for Tubby Smith's replacement wide open, with names from all over the college basketball landscape finding their way into the rumor mill.
Mostly because they're rumors. If here on Yellow Chair, we write "we have inside sources deep inside the Lakers who refused to be named on the record, that Phil Jackson is polishing up his resume and is considering taking the Kentucky job," who's there to say we're wrong? And that might be just enough to get it into the rumor mill.

Barnhart issued a statement on Thursday asking for patience during the hiring process.
Good luck getting patience from Kentucky fans. See point below in blue.

"We have had productive conversations with various individuals over the last two weeks, and it's obvious that there are a number of outstanding coaches who could succeed at Kentucky," Barnhart said. "I'm confident we'll find the right man."
We had all our eggs in one basket. (Chomp) Oops.

Donovan, a former Kentucky assistant under Rick Pitino, was considered the school's first choice to take over college basketball's all-time winningest program. Donovan's ties to the school's Renaissance under Pitino and his up-tempo style of play made him an appealing pick for one of the nation's most ardent fan bases.
Just replace the words "ties to the school's Renaissance under Pitino" to "National Championship Rings," the word "appealing" to "auto-erotically gratifying" and "ardent" to "insane, unrealistic, and overdemanding."

Barnhart received permission to talk to Donovan late Wednesday night, but by Thursday morning Donovan had decided to stay at the school where he's won back-to-back national championships.
As opposed to going to a school that practically demands back-to-back national championships.

Whoever Barnhart hires will have to stabilize a program that's struggled -- by its lofty standards -- over the last few years.
Struggled? 6 SEC East Division titles won either outright or tied for out of the last 8. 7 regular season conference championships in the last 13. Only at Kentucky does that constitute "struggling."


Kentucky hasn't made it to the Final Four since winning the national championship in 1998, the longest drought between national semifinal appearances in school history.
Only 9 years since you've been to the Final Four? Cry me a fuckin' river. There was that one time that you had only lost 1 game all year before the Elite 8. What happened to that team? Oh yea, now I remember.

The Wildcats went 22-12 this season, losing to Kansas in the second round of the NCAA tournament and have lost at least 10 games in four of their last eight seasons.
Dear prospective UK coaches,
Aside from the fact that this also means they've lost less than 10 games in 4 of the last 8 seasons, at most other schools (perhaps even your current one), this is considered a banner year. At Kentucky, it's total failure. Geez, no wonder coaches get run out of town there.

Smith's departure opened the door for center Randolph Morris, who signed a free-agent contract with the NBA's New York Knicks the day after Smith left for Minnesota. Morris was eligible to sign with an NBA team under a rule in the Collective Bargaining Agreement that made him a free agent when he wasn't selected during the 2005 NBA Draft.
Man, this really isn't related to the rest of the article at all. Good close, SI.

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Bud Selig does not work for ESPN


It's official. Every time Barry Bonds hits a home run, it automatically wins the #1 spot on ESPN's Top Ten Plays.

"No doubt about it...Of course it's going to be number one. And when he hits number 736, it will be number one too."

Great.

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You know science, you get buckwild, runnin' mad games as if your name was Scott Skiles

>> Wednesday

So with Ben Wallace out with a sinus infection and the Bulls playing a huge game against the first-place Pistons in Detroit, how many minutes would you guess Tyrus Thomas played?

40 minutes?
30 minutes?
20 minutes?
80 minutes?

Well, 80 wasn't a very good guess. But the other three were. Would you believe, though... just 10 minutes?

Well, there must've been some good reason like turnovers or foul trouble or poor shooting or something, right? Hmm... only three fouls. Not it. Only one turnover. Not it either. 13 points on 6 for 10 shooting and 8 rebounds. Also not it. So... Scott Skiles just has it in for Tyrus Thomas?

Granted, it could have been 18 minutes had Tyrus not been ejected for fighting with Rip Hamilton. And granted, Ben Gordon only played 12 for some reason. And granted, the Bulls won by 18 points. (I'm not supporting this complaint well, am I?)

But this close to playoff time, I'm just a tad concerned why Skiles is holding one of his best players in big games even when he's effective. And now with this ejection business and the impending return of Andres Nocioni, it can only get worse.

I'm not saying I know how to coach an NBA team, but I'm also not saying that Scott Skiles does.

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Gay


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