Chief to say good bye...or is he?

It looks like this is it. Today, barring a judge's ruling, the University of Illinois will announce that the symbol of the university, Chief Illiniwek, will have his final dance at halftime of the Illinois-Michigan men's basketball game next week.

Opponents of the Chief have long claimed cultural misappropriation. Which of course never happens in college sports.

This isn't even a case of a blatantly offensive image. The costume was donated by a Native American tribe in the 1980s (that sounds like an endorsement to me), the Chief figure is represented with respect and for the most part (save a few jumps), sticks to authentic Native American dances, and the Peoria Indians' Chief (descendants of the original Illiniwek confederacy) has gone on record as saying that he was in support of the Chief as recently as 10 years ago. Now he's against it. What's changed since the mid-1990s?

I am totally lost on how there is this apparently pressing need to have more diversity in hiring minority coaches, athletic directors, and university presidents, in attracting a more diverse student body, yet when it comes time for visible symbols of the University on the athletic field, the time for diversity is over. Think about it. Can you think of any major university that uses a non-white logo or mascot/symbol/character/image? I know I can't think of any single one, can you recall any non-white college sports teams' mascots that would immediately come to mind?

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Kerry Wood Celebrity Hot Tub Party

Heeyyyyyah!

Sometimes, when you hate a team you really have to stretch to make up reasons why they suck to justify your hatred of them beyond pure and simple homerism. When you can't stand the Chicago Cubs, they make you feel almost bad for them. Really, sometimes, it's too easy.

The Chicago Cubs pitcher is not expected to throw off the mound for a few days after he slipped this week getting out of a hot tub at home. Wood landed on his stomach and chest.

So let's review. Cubs players have been injured getting out of a hot tub, typing on Instant Messanger and sneezing. How long until the last few years of the Cubs are written into Final Destination 3? Jason Marquis better watch his ass.

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Fighting (Chet Coppock) like Warriors!

Wooo! Let's go War'iors! [clap clap cl-cl-clap]

As reported to me by Zuch and soon to be backed up by tomorrow's Chicago Sun Times, one of our fellow Marquette fans punched Chicago sports on-air personality Chet Coppock at last night's Marquette-DePaul game. Yeah, DePaul, that's what you get for playing well, suckas!

Here we go War'iors, here we go! [clap clap]

Whatever the reason, I'm sure old Chet Chit-Chat deserved it, and more importatnly, he learned a valuable lesson--You don't fuck with a Warrior! Yeah! MU represent!

Gooooooo... Gooooooo... Go! Mar-quette! Go! Go! Go! Go!

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Dear God, I promise I'll be good....

Next up in our YCS Microsoft Paint Series, rumors have been swirling over the last few days and have been coming from people inside MLS offices, indicating the Chicago Fire are making another play for former French international Zinedine Zidane. If the Forehead of Steel is chuffing up and down the field at Toyota Park anytime soon wearing Fire red, I will totally flip out.

Zidane apparently still wants to play, and thinks that America might be a good experience for him. He's 35, so he probably has 2 or 3 good years at most left in him before it's back to being cartoonized in butter billboards in India.

It's still in the rumor stage right now, but there's a lot of smoke, just enough to think that Zidane might be suiting up for the Fire.

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No News. No Analysis.

Just a hilarious compilation of Mike Tyson quotes through the years.

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Tim Hardaway Doesn't Want to Macrame a Pair of Jean Shorts With You

If you haven't heard/seen this yet, you will undoubtedly catch it ad nauseum for the next few days on SportsCenter. Cue former Heat (not the guy from Golden State and not Penny [big or little]) guard Tim Hardaway.

Former Miami Heat guard Tim Hardaway said on a radio show Wednesday afternoon that he would not want a gay player on his team.

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

"And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that's right. And you know I don't think he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room. I wouldn't even be a part of that," he said.

All right. Slow down. Yes, what he said is insanely intolerant and archaic. Yes, he sounds like a clown for saying it. Yes, it's the kind of vitriol everyone could do without. But don't think for ONE minute that what Hardaway said isn't on the mind of 80% (or more) of NBA players.

People, if there is one simple truth about athletes, it's this: they're not statesmen for a reason. They are, by and large, testosterone pumping machines that are exceptionally athletically gifted. They're competitive, high-strung and desperately masculine (despite how often those traits coincide with homoeroticism [see the 1980s]).

It's always a shock to me when people hear athletes talk about social topics and are outraged when what they hear isn't the most progressive and enlightened discourse. Of course athletes are homophobes. Great. Pity for them and even more pity for the poor guys in each league that are forced to repress their natural urges. But come on, don't crucify a guy for being honest and not going with the cookie cutter-obviously holding back something-to be PC answer.

That said, Tim Hardaway is an idiot.

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I Was Wrong

DePaul played a very good game tonight and have proven to be a solid team. I'm still not a big fan of Jerry Wainwright, just because they would be knocking on the door of the top 25 if they played like this every night. For Marquette fans, I hope many of your asses get real sore from the jumping on and off of the bandwagon. We are still a very good team, even if being ranked 13 may be a tad bit too high. Also, for those knocking Dominic James, we are 15-11 right with DePaul if he's not at Marquette.

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Thank God for Michael Waltrip's rules violation

I don't even know what he did or how it's against NASCAR rules. All I know is that it gave us this hilarious picture of Waltrip, sans corporate sponsor racing cap:

If you'd like to understand the details of this sordid affair, you can read all about it in Rusty Wallace's latest edition of "Rusty Nails It."

Oh, NASCAR. We didn't even need a not-very-well-done Will Ferrell movie to make satire out of you. You're self-satirizing, and you don't even seem to know it.

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Sports World Nostalgia: Bobby Valentine

As bloggers--or writers (term used loosely) of any sort--it's sort of a minimal obligation that we do something hokey and festive on popular holidays. So to celebrate Valentine's Day, I thought I would pay tribute to a sports icon for whom the day is not named, but for whom it should be named: former MLB player and manager and Japanese League manager Bobby Valentine.

As a player, Valentine lasted eleven seasons in the bigs, appearing with five teams. After breaking in at the age of 19, "the Heartbreak Kid," as he should've been called, blossomed into a semi-regular player by the age of 22. As a member of the Dodgers in 1972, the versatile Valentine enjoyed his finest season, hitting .274 with 3 HR in 391 ABs while splitting time between 2B, 3B, SS, and OF.

Like most of us, Valentine had already seen his best days by the time he turned 23. By the mid-'70s, he'd been relegated to a sparingly-used utility man, a role he would continue to play until his retirement after the 1979 season.

During his playing career, Valentine garnered a reputation for being cagey, heady, and, above all, fond of watching games from the bench. So it was no surprise that baseballpeople quickly pegged the young Valentine as a future managerial candidate. By 1985, Valentine fulfilled this prophecy, becoming the interim manager of the Texas Rangers at the age of 35.

Valentine stuck with the Rangers, where he would oversee a string of 80ish-win seasons. His finest moment as Rangers manager came on June 11, 1990 when--just moments before the Rangers' game against the A's that evening--he told starting pitcher Nolan Ryan, "Hey, throw a good one tonight." Ryan obliged by pitching a no-hitter. It was undoubtedly Valentine's best single-game managerial perfomance of his young career. Never a one-trick pony, Valentine repeated the feat on May 1, 1991 when he told Ryan to no-hit the Blue Jays.

Valentine would remain with the Rangers until 1992 when he got his ass cahizzanned 86 games into the season.

By 1995, Valentine found himself itching to manage again, and, more principally, itching to earn a paycheck. That winter, Valentine accepted a job managing the Chiba Lotte Marines of the Japanese Pacific League. Despite the Marines' second-place finish that season, Valentine was fired due to personality conflicts and an admission that he picked his lineups from a hat when he gave up trying to learn his players' names.

The next season, Valentine was back in the majors as a coach with the Mets. He would find himself managing again before the 1996 finished when the Mets dumped manager Dallas Green with 31 games left. During his time with the Mets, Valentine's teams won back-to-back NL Wild Cards in 1999 and 2000, making the World Series the latter season and losing to the cross-town Yankees in front of lots of celebrities. What people will remember most about Valentine's Mets tenure, however, was his incognito appearance in the Mets' dugout after being ejected during a 1999 game (photo, top of page).

By 2002, the Mets had grown tired of not firing someone, and Valentine was released from his exile in Flushing Meadows. With nowhere else to turn, Valentine followed his heart back home to Japan, accepting his old job with Chiba Lotte for the 2003 season. He would win the Pacific League title with the Marines in 2005 and continues to manage there today.

Since going back to Japan, Valentine has crusaded for international competition among MLB teams and other countries' professional teams. Valentine was validated in his oft pooh-poohed assertions that Japanese League players could compete with MLB players when Japan won the inaugural World Baseball Classic last year on the strength of their calculated, stoic, Samurai-like, good-at-math, seaweed-digesting style, just as Valentine had predicted.

Whether or not Valentine ever makes it back to the majors, his legacy as a champion for the WBC and as a hilarious disguise artist is forever cemented in baseball lore. Also, his legacy as the inventor of the wrap is forever cemented in deli sandwich lore. But if you ask me, he's making that up. The filthy liar.

Anyway, we at YCS hope all of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day, and we hope when you curl up with that special someone tonight, you think of the man we honor on this day--former MLB manager Bobby Valentine. If not, we hope you think of Bobby the next time you're making love. And every time after that.

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Mama said knock you out!

It began on July 11th with teams that you've probably never heard of. (My apologies to all the Linfield FC and NK Široki Brijeg fans who read YCS. Your teams' 2006 Northern Irish and Bosnian league titles were well-earned.) Now it's February, and it's time for the knockout rounds of the UEFA Champions League to begin on Tuesday (Where I will be taking a day off work for an unrelated reason, and as such will be unable to post my preview then).

Likewise, since no one else on this staff would be able to show any analysis beyond that dumb secretary in the March Madness office pools who picks her winners based on how cute their mascots are, the job of handicapping the Round of 16 falls to me I guess (12-4 in the group stage). All matchups are on a two-game, home-and-home, total goals basis. In case of a tie, away goals are the first tiebreaker. Let's keep the discussion above the table.

The matchups

Liverpool FC vs. FC Barcelona
In a matchup of the last two Champions League winners, I like the Blaugrana. While Barcelona has been rocked by controversy after Samuel Eto’o refused to enter a Spanish League game over complaints of lack of playing time (How ironic.), they have at least maintained a somewhat consistent form in the rough-and-tumble Spanish League this season. Liverpool on the other hand have been maddeningly inconsistent.

Since the new year, the Reds have crushed Bolton 3-0, then followed that up with two losses to Arsenal at Anfield by scores of 3-1 and 6-3 respectively to be bounced from the League Cup and the FA Cup. They responded to that disastrous week by pasting Watford 3-0, knocking off defending champions Chelsea 2-0, then barely squeaking by relegation-bound West Ham United, a lackluster scoreless draw with crosstown rivals Everton, and a humiliating 2-1 loss to Newcastle United.

Barca: 2-1 on aggregate
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Celtic FC vs. AC Milan
Celtic is arguably one of the weaker teams still in the Champions League, and one of only three from outside the Big Five Leagues. The Bhoys have a near-insurmountable lead against weaker competition domestically, they went 3-3 in the group stage, never got a point away from Celtic Park, and had little offense to speak of (They only scored 6 goals in 6 matches). However, they are powered by Japanese international Shunsuke Nakamura, and backed by Polish international keeper Artur Boruc, who stopped a PK against Manchester United to put the Hoops through to the knockout stages.

If Celtic had a dream draw of the teams they could play in the 1/8-finals, it would have had to be AC Milan. The Rossoneri were rocked over the summer by the Italian matchfixing scandal and were initially banned from the Champions League before appeal. The uncertainty this brought to the team’s finances meant that they couldn’t spend any money in the summer transfer window. What follows is more or less the same team that lost the 2005 Champions League Final, only two years older. Milan has struggled domestically this season, currently sitting in 7th in the Italian top flight, 30 points behind rivals Inter Milan. Take away their point penalty to start the season, and they’re still only in fourth and 22 points behind Inter.Milan’s only notable Winter transfer pickup was Brazilian star Ronaldo from Real Madrid, who is more or less washed-up, slow, and overweight. He won't be able to play anyway since his play in the group stages leaves him cup-tied to Madrid.

Upset Special: Celtic: 1-0 on aggregate
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Manchester United FC vs. LOSC Lille
Manchester United. End of discussion. Lille is above and beyond the weakest team in the competition, currently 10-5-9 in the French top flight, 15 points off the leaders. The Red Devils are stocked with star power including Wayne Rooney and Christiano Ronaldo, who despite being a serial diver, is arguably one of the best players in the competition. United are en route to their first English Premier League title since 2001 domestically.

Man United: 4-1 on aggregate
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PSV Eindhoven vs. Arsenal FC
PSV is currently on top of the Dutch league, and Arsenal is 4th in the EPL. Arsenal definitely has more talent than PSV, and the Gunners are presently in a stretch of great form. Thierry Henry is lighting it up, and Jens Lehmann appears to have discovered his winning touch. Thomas Rosicky has proven to be a valuable pickup for the Gunners.

Arsenal: 3-2 on aggregate
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Real Madrid CF vs. FC Bayern Munich
If teams were as good as their histories, then this tie would be one for the ages. Madrid, the most successful team in Spain against Bayern, the most successful in Germany battling it out for European glory. However, both teams are shadows of their former selves. Oliver Kahn is still a great netminder for Bayern, but is not the Kahn that won the Champions League in 2001. Madrid likewise is a shadow of their “Galacticos” team. Zinedine Zidane, Luis Figo, and Ronaldo have all left for greener pastures or retirement. David Beckham is on his way to the United States, and Madrid frankly isn’t very good this year. However, they still have enough talent to eke past a Michael Ballack-less Bayern squad who is falling rapidly in the Bundesliga standings, but probably not enough talent to make it to the Semifinals.

Real Madrid: 2-2 on aggregate (Madrid advances on away goals)
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FC Porto vs. Chelsea FC
Yea, I guess there’s kind of a storyline here as Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho returns to play the club he led to a UEFA Cup title in 2003 and a UEFA Champions League title in 2004, but that’s really it. Chelsea has too much firepower to let Porto through. The Blues’ goalkeeping woes could provide enough room for an upset by the Dragons, but I wouldn’t count on it. Chelsea likewise has a lackluster record in this competition, but both years they lost to the eventual champion (Liverpool 2005, Barcelona 2006). I can assure you, FC Porto is not going to win the Champions League this season. Smart money’s on Chelsea.

Chelsea: 3-1 on aggregate
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Internazionale vs. Valencia CF
Inter is running away with the Italian title. Valencia is currently sitting in fourth place in a parity-driven Spanish League. While Valencia has made it this far, they also emerged from one of the easiest groups in the Group Stage. They also have failed to beat Getafe in domestic play three times since the New Year (0-2-1). Inter will run away with this one.

Inter 3-0 on aggregate
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AS Roma vs. Olympique Lyonnais
Lyon has been the story of the French top flight for the past five years. Roma wouldn’t even be here had they not been paired in the weakest group, and Juventus not been punished for fixing matches last year. I really don’t care who wins here, but Lyon has a better track record in the competition so I’ll pick them.

Lyon 2-1 on aggregate

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So there you have it. The "1/8th-Finals" For no soccer analysis posts since the Beckham post, I'd say it's looking like an interesting last three months to the competition before the final in Athens. If nothing else, I'll bet this gets the rest of the YCS staff to post something.

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