What was this I heard about an Earthquake?

As I'm awake much earlier than normal today, I hear the news about an Earthquake in Illinois.

The more pressing question may be, how many aftershocks did Jimmy Hart call for?

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Raw (Zone) is Still War (Zone)

Tonight, I watched my first WWE Raw Zone in years -- in fact, the last time I watched it, it was still WWF Raw. Here are some various musings based on tonight's show:

1.) The RKO is a Stone Cold Stunner without the kick in the gut:






2.) Jeff Hardy still kicks ass. Usually high-flying wrestlers break something or wear out all their cartilage after one or two years in the WWE. Not Jeff Hardy. The dude still put in the most acrobatic performance of the night. And he knocked the shit out of some big Samoan guy's ass with a "steel" chair.

3.) In a "sport" with virtually no enforced rules, it still bothers me that a guy can lose a match for being out of the ring for more than 10 seconds. I mean, a third-party wrestler (who's not even involved in the match) can come into a match, knock a guy out with a chair, and the match proceeds as if it was all legal. Yet, if I guy gets knocked out outside of the ring and doesn't get back in time, he loses. Bogus.

4.) Jerry Lawler is probably on steroids too. Have you seen him lately? Even the announcers are taking steroids. Why aren't people calling out Vince McMahon instead of Bud Selig? How many wrestlers are going to die young before somebody puts the squeeze on this guy and his business? Why not call these guys up to Capitol Hill?

5.) King Booker is the second worst black character wrestler of all time. I was going to say that the Godfather was the worst. Then I considered Papa Shango. Then, a Wikipedia search revealed that both characters were the same guy, Charles Wright. They all suck. The WWE turns these guys into clowns. I mean, it might sound a little racist, but why not make a black wrestler totally hip-hop? If the WWE can create white trash characters (like the guys pictured to the left, the current tag team champs), why can't they come up with a couple of hardcore gangstas?

6.) I have no idea why anyone would watch this garbage. "There is not a single good character in pro wrestling these days. " I admit, this notion probably fits into Vinnie's argument that every year people say, "The cast of SNL is one of the worst ever". Then, ten years down the road, people get all nostalgic for the Jim Breuers and the Horatio Sanzes that they loved so much. But seriously, there's probably not going to be another Rocky Maivia.

7.) Candice is from Milwaukee?! Man, finding a chick like that in Milwaukee happens like once every decade!

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There's No Santa Claus

And in other earth shattering news, pro wrestlers use steroids.

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