Side-By-Side Comparison

The introduction paragraphs to the Sox-Angels game last night in today's Chicago Tribune, penned by Dave van Dyck.

"Carlos Quentin hit a pair of home runs Sunday night, including the game-winner to lead off the bottom of the ninth inning, as the White Sox avoided a sweep and
finished a short homestand by winning four of six games. Quentin's second shot gave the Sox a 3-2 victory over the Angels in a game that took only 2 hours 5 minutes and made them winners for the ninth time in 11 games."

Who, When, What, Where, and How all answered succinctly, and with enough context to give the reader some backstory. The Sox won a dramatic victory with a bottom of the ninth home run to end a short slide and get back to their winning ways. Compare to Phil Rogers' same opening paragraphs for the Cubs-Pirates game.

"Earth to Alfonso Soriano, come in please. Earth to Soriano...Earth to Soriano...report in please. About the only thing that didn't happen to the Cubs over the weekend at PNC Park was an alien abduction, and the persistent misadventures of Soriano left you wondering if the sun was the only thing in his eyes. Perhaps Soriano was distracted by a beam from a hovering spacecraft, which messed with his internal wiring, at the very least. Maybe he was switched with a clone, although he did look like his old self for one moment in Sunday's 6-5, 11 inning loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates."

Basic story information replaced with a dated "Earth to" joke, extraterrestrials added to the list of things blamed for a Cubs loss other than the players , and suspicion of human cloning of outfielders with mixed results.

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Jeffrey Maier revisited?

As did I'm sure billions of other people tuned into the All-Star Game last night (who may have also posted this same comment on their own blogs), Zuch and I immediately earmarked Carl Crawford's homerun--which appeared aided by a reaching fan--as a potential source of controversy. We decided that the AL would need to win by at least two runs, or else that homerun would be called into question later.

Of course, thanks to Soriano's ninth-inning dinger, that did not happen, and now I'm here to question the validity of the game's outcome.

But before I go all Hawk Harrelson on this ("That is BS! That is absolute BS!"), I'd like to know if there's an explanation. Are Zuch and I that blind? (We really don't have very good vision, either of us.) Or is there something that I don't know about Telephone Provider Park's ground rules? Zuch and I were in a crowded public place watching the game, so perhaps Buck and McCarver eloquently explained--as they're so inclined to do--exactly why that homerun was allowed to stand.

Otherwise, you're dadgum right this game will be under protest! And this is one protest that's gonna be upheld! I guarantee that!

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