You're a Vick. You should know better.

Come on, Michael.

#1. Tinted plastic only, no matter the substance. And no translucent labels! You think that pansy Aquafina label is gonna hide anything? Sheesh.

#2. Stick it in your pants, dummy! Right in the crotch. Then look for the most homophobic security guard. Common sense.

#3. Stop smokin' that ganj, kid. It rots your brain! (Just kidding, Michael. Do as you please.)

This story is exhibit A of why it sucks to be famous and recognizable. We all can relate to that heartbreaking moment when some authority figure questions the contents of your plastic beverage bottle. Or--as we've experienced--the contents of that still-sealed beer can.