Lox of the Week

Sorry fans--I've been a little busy with work travel and such lately, hence my absence. (Oh... You didn't notice? Thanks, jerk.) And if the Brewers and Sox don't win today, we might all be dead by morphine overdose come tomorrow morning, and this blog will shut down entirely.

Anyway, after missing out on my Lock of the Week last week, I owe you two fail-proof bets this week. So for my first, I'm going with the Packers (+2) at Tampa. And if I'm wrong, Matt's gonna punch me in the mouth for jinxing the Pack.

For my second pick, I'm taking the Browns (+1) at Cincy. The Bengals are starting some guy named Fitzgerald or Fitzpatrick or Samuelson or Mork or something in place of the injured Carson Palmer, and I'm guessing he sucks.

Book 'em!

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Maybe 13 or 14 just to be safe

Current espn.com featured comment, courtesy of user Mark535042, regarding the Cleveland Browns' offseason acquisitions:

"They're going to need at least 12 wins to make the playoffs in that division."

That's a pretty bold statement from Mr. 535042, considering how rare it is for an 11-win team to miss the playoffs in the NFL. I wonder if he realizes that hasn't happened since the Faketown Invisibles finished last in the Bizzaro Football League with a record of 11-0.8 back in 1950NEVER.

Let's see... 535042. On a rotary phone, that would spell "kelzib," or German for "dickhead." So let me be the first to say: good call, dickhead.

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