The NHL Will Chew Your Ass Up And Spit You The Fuck Out

Is it just me, or does the NHL provide the absolute worst job security of any league in the world? Take our latest example, Tampa Bay Lightning Coach and mullet enthusiast Barry Melrose, fired today after just 16 games on the bench.

I always liked Melrose on ESPN. He seemed to be a good Dickie V-like ambassador for the game, displaying an enthusiasm and understanding for the game that made him extremely accessible and enjoyable in the vein of guys like Cris Collinsworth and Ron Jaworski.

Now, admittedly I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to hockey, but it seems to me that coaches are fired at an 80's-Steinbrenner pace in that league. I mean, failure to meet expectations is one thing, but even Al Davis thinks it's a bit premature to get rid of your coach so early in his tenure.

So what's the deal? Is the atmosphere in an NHL dressing room like fucking Boiler Room? Just win or get the fuck out! Win! Win now! (Ok, I'll admit that this comparison comes because I saw Boiler Room for the first time yesterday. It was alright, although a little bit overrated and seemed as if it was intended to appeal to the Entourage crowd. If you want a better movie with a similar premise, watch Glengarry Glen Ross. It's funnier, the acting's better [like, immensely better], and the storytelling and character arcs are more clearly defined and well-developed. With less than half the screen time, Alec Baldwin does in Glengarry Glen Ross what Ben Affleck tries desperately to emulate in Boiler Room with far more effect and resonance. The bright spot in Boiler Room is Giovanni Ribisi, a solid actor who's role selection [Gone in 60 Seconds, Basic, The Gift, The Mod Squad] leaves a lot to be desired. In a limited leading role or as part of a talented ensemble, though [think Saving Private Ryan where he plays the platoon's medic], the kid can still bring the goods.)

So...uh...yeah. Why do NHL coaches get fired so frequently?