Sports World Nostalgia: Bob Probert

With my going to the Hawks-Maple Leafs game tonight, I figured this would be the only appropriate time to discuss this glorious competitor, and promise it will be the last post on the Hawks for a while. Today we look back to the hallowed days of youth, when the Blackhawks were actually kind of decent, and towards the tail end of their 27-year playoff appearance streak. While all the pretty boys in class had Jeremy Roenick jerseys, because he was the star and scored all the goals, real fans' favorite Hawk growing up was Bob Probert.

Probert was probably the kind of player Happy Gilmore would have been if he had made it into the NHL. He couldn't really score (Only 84 goals in a 16-year career in the NHL with the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings) But he could beat the living fuck out of people in a way that would make Carmelo Anthony run away like a scared little girl.

...well, like MORE of a scared little girl than he already is.

Probert was a true renaissance man. The kind of well-rounded athlete that makes the perfect hockey player. Probert was an expert at many skills, including fighting, brawling, sparring, knockin' heads, beating the fuck out of people, and occasionally, stepping in as his team's enforcer when needed. His versatility impressed fans of all ages for almost 20 years. Probert spent 3574 minutes in the penalty box in his career, an average that comes out to almost 2 trips to the sin bin every game. With stats like that, we can only assume that he'd beat the living hell out of Bob Barker too. His retirement in 2002 brought wistful memories from hockey fans, and wailing sobs from hospitals and morgues within a 20 minute drive of NHL arenas.

Here's to you, Probert. Thanks to you, we can all see the ridiculous double standard in how sports media portrays fighting during a game for when the players involved are white, blue-collar, working class heroes and when they're "out of control" (ie: black).